Once upon a time, a woman could no longer take more of the trouble from her little daughter. She called her daughter and said to her, “You know, each time you are naughty, you give me one additional gray hair.” The little girl paused for a while, looked at her mom, and said gently, “Mom, thank you for letting me know why grandma has so many of them.” Some people say that “Insanity is hereditary; you can get it from your children.” They also say, “Children are a great comfort in your old age- and they help you reach it faster, too.”
Today is the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. We celebrate this feast today, the last Sunday of the year 2024. The Church strategically places this feast today as an invitation to us to do some stock-taking before we enter the next year, 2025. No family is free of challenges; every family deals with one problem or the other. When I think of what happens in families, the Spanish expression that comes to mind is Cada loco con su tema. So, no family is free. In encouraging us as families to examine ourselves and right our wrongs before the New Year, the Church presents, as an example, the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. They had their challenges, and they had their victories. So, what can we learn from their challenges and how they overcame them?
Holy as the Family was, there were many challenges in it. In today’s gospel passage, imagine yourself going to the Church with your son, and on your way back, after a whole day’s journey, you discover you did not return with him. That should be enough of a problem for you as a parent. As if that is not enough, when you find your son, rather than apologize to you, he questions the rationale behind your looking for him, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house? That was not all. Joseph and Mary were about to break up even before marriage because Mary became pregnant, and Joseph was not responsible for the pregnancy. The one in today’s gospel passage was also not the end of their problem. The renowned Bible Teacher, Bill Creasy said that nothing is heard about Jesus from ages 12 to 30 because Joseph and Mary grounded him during that period. During the public ministry of Jesus, it got to a point when his relatives felt he was out of his mind and wanted to keep him at home (cf. Mark 3: 20- 21). No one ordinarily would think of the passion of Christ and still believe that it was rosy for his family.
The approach of Mary and Joseph in facing their family problem in today’s Gospel passage is one that we can learn from. Despite being tired from the journey, they had to take stock at the end of the day’s journey. It was during that process they discovered someone was missing. They did not pretend that nothing was wrong; they did not trade blames; rather than focus on who was wrong (Dad or Mom?), they focused more on what was wrong, and they retraced their steps to where they last had Jesus. Similarly, we are to face our family problems as a team, encouraging and bringing out the best in one another.
It is strangely consoling that today’s Gospel passage does not give us an image of a family that is immersed in perfect bliss. The challenges they faced reassure us that the Holy Family is much like ours. Just like the Holy Family, the duress, uncertainties, trials, etc., that we face together as a family help to deepen the bond of family. God knows why he chose specific people to be members of a family. He permits difficulties in families to help us know ourselves and one another better to grow as a team. If in any way you are more blessed than other members of the family, your job is not to look down on others but to use your strength to uplift others so that in your areas of weakness, they will be your support. In any group where people tackle challenges together, they develop a hardly breakable bond.
When I was in Basic Officers Training, I experienced many challenges. Some of the bonds and friendships I enjoy today are from those who were by my side in those difficult moments. God blessed me with a roommate who was prior service as an enlisted sailor. He knew a lot about the Navy while I had no idea what I was doing. Instead of laughing at me, he sacrificed his time for me. I did not know how to make my bed in the military style. My roommate would wake up early, make his bed, and help me make mine. He would say, “Chaps, you’ve got this. Hold the other end, watch me make this end, and then do it.” He had some religious/spiritual challenges. As a priest, I did not laugh at him, I was there for him. We now have a special bond. I also made many friends during Basic Training among those classmates who helped train me pass my swim test after I failed my first try. That is a Holy Family. It is not a family without problems, it is a family where the strong do not abandon or laugh at the weak, but help the weak. The presence of Jesus was responsible for the holiness of the Holy Family. When his parents noticed his absence, they retraced their steps to get him back. On this Feast of the Holy Family, before we enter the New Year, the Church enjoins us as a family to return to Jerusalem to pick Jesus from where we left him, to return to that powerful tradition of family prayer/scripture readings, to return to that quality family time when the television is off, the iPad and phones are aside, where parents and children sit around the table to share stories and listen to one another, where the family reaffirms everybody and not push them to seek affirmation and approval from dangerous groups outside the house. May this celebration bring healing and growth to all families until we come to our heavenly inheritance, through Christ our Lord. Amen.
Homily for Feast of the Holy Family Year C 2024
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