I sometimes go out with my friends, a couple. Usually, the husband gets in the driver’s seat, and the wife goes to the back seat, while they ask me to sit in the front passenger’s seat. I hesitate, but they stand their ground until I throw in a paraphrase of scripture, “What God has joined together, Father must not put asunder,” and then they give in.
Apart from the reason I gave above, I have a hidden reason for preferring to sit in the back. From that vantage position, I entertain myself with the interaction between the husband and wife in front of me. As soon as the driving begins, I notice the wife in the front passenger’s seat stepping on an invisible gas pedal or brake whenever she thinks her husband is too slow or too fast. Other times, she moves her shoulders and her hands slightly as if she is steering the wheel. It gets to a point when she voices out what is in her mind by saying, “Honey, are we not better off on the other lane?” “I think we have missed our exit?” “You almost hit that car in front of you.” The husband keeps ignoring her until he can no longer take it; then he says, “Honey, I think you should take over the steering wheel so I can have some peace.” And then the woman says, “That is ok, I will keep my mouth shut, if that is what you want.”
In today’s Gospel passage, Jesus lays down some of his most demanding words: “Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple… Whoever of you does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple.” When we hear the word possessions, we might think of money, houses, or other material things. But there is another possession that is far harder to let go of: the need to be in control.
So much of our stress, anxiety, and even anger comes from our attempts to control what we really cannot. We want to control how people see us, how situations unfold, how relationships go, even how God answers our prayers. But the truth is: control is an illusion. Life itself reminds us constantly that we are not in charge. For example, none of us chose how, when, or where we were born. None of us can stop the passage of time. None of us knows exactly what tomorrow will bring. And yet, we cling to control as if we can change the fact that we are not in charge.
The words of Jesus in today’s Gospel passage are not only about money. They are about the things that hold us back. As long as we are attached to the desire to be in control, we cannot attach ourselves to Jesus. That is why Jesus calls us to detachment. Not just from things, but from the illusion of being the master of our own lives. Only when we let go of control can we fully attach ourselves to him who is truly the Lord.
The desire to be in control even extends to our desire for holiness. Sometimes, in my conversations with fellow Catholics, I listen to them share how they struggle with avoiding sins. I ask to know the motive behind their desire to live a holy life. I then explain to them that sometimes, our desire to be holy is not deeply for the love of God but the love of being in control. We want to take pride in doing things right and not need the mercy or help of God.
Jesus uses two images in the Gospel today: a builder calculating the cost and a king counting troops before battle. Both remind us that discipleship is not accidental. It is a deliberate choice to trust God with the plan. To say: “Lord, I don’t have to control everything. I permit you to lead.” And here is the paradox: when we let go of control, we do not lose ourselves, we find freedom. We discover peace because the weight of running the universe is no longer on our shoulders. We can breathe, because God is God, and we are not.
So, Jesus said, to have eternal life, you must rely on me and not on what you control. Just like my friend would say to his wife while driving, “Honey, I think it is better you take over the steering wheel so I can have some peace,” Jesus also tells us that he is the only one who can take us to eternal life. For us to arrive safely, we must detach ourselves from the desire to be in control and let Jesus take full control of the steering wheel. Because in the end, the truest possession we can hold on to is Christ himself. And he can only fill the space in our hearts that we first surrender.
This week, reflect on one area of your life where you feel the urge to control, maybe your work, your health, your future, or your family. Instead of clenching your fists, open your hands, say, “Jesus, I trust you. Take the lead.” Let us pray to God to grant us the grace to detach from all distractions and faithfully attach ourselves to Jesus. And may our faith in Jesus never put us to shame until we come to our heavenly inheritance, through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.
Homily for 23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time Year C 2025
A really, really good one this week Fada. It’s always a treat to to share Mass with you. Have a blessed week!
Keith
Sacred Heart and the good folks of Ocean Beach are Blessed to have you Padre. Ora Pro Nobis.